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Some of the images below are the ones that appeared in the magazine, while others are scrounged from the internet.
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MISANTHROPE Issue 1, Published December, 1997 [Printed below is the Kadavar's Korner review column from Misanthrope that I wrote under the name of D.K.D. Kadavar. As these reviews were published ten years ago and most of the material reviewed is most likely long out of print, I have not included any contact or ordering information.]
Kadavar's Korner
Aarrgghh!!! I can't get away from doing these fucking review columns. Every time one's over with, another comes along.
Header Let's see, first up, I got me this little chapbook written by US splatterhead, Edward Lee. Presentation not too bad, but nothing spectacular either. Intro by Lucy Taylor who tells us that despite being such a depraved writer, Edward Lee ain't such a bad guy after all. Now that the prelims are over with, yer might wanna ask yerself what this little chapbook is all about? Is it worth the hassle of sending away to the USA for? Is it worth your time and money? Well, fuck a dumb blonde in the top of the head after drilling a hole in it to let the air out -- Fucking A! What we got here are a couple of real depraved hillbilly-good'ol'boy-whitetrash-scum who like to drill holes in their enemies' heads and screw their brains out. No shit. This somewhat antisocial act is called a "header". And Mr. Lee goes on to describe this momentous event in minute detail. And as far as I'm concerned, nuff said. Go out and buy the fucker.
(John Stanley's) Creature Features Movie Guide Strikes Again Just when you thought you were running out of quality material to read in the excremeditation chamber, along comes John Shirley with this weighty little door stop. (Also good for weighting down those old newspapers you use to wipe yer arse with.) In this little fucker we have -- in alphabetical order of course -- an enormous listing of all those schlock films we all love. Not only are there more than 5,600 films listed, but you also get a mini-review from someone who really appreciates what schlock is all about, cast and crew information, year of release, plus info on who supplies it (if available) on video and laser disk. Also includes info on TV series, and other schlock essentials. Add nicely written intro and you have yerself one fucking A-class package. For those who don't know, John Shirley is to exploitation, schlock and horror, what Leonard Maltin is to mainstream Pinkness. Stanley was the host of the famous US TV show, Creature Features, for six years, and covered horror for the San Francisco Chronicle for over 30 years. In other words, this guy knows his shit. So send him yer money and buy the fucker.
The Devil's Notebook If you don't know who Anton LaVey is and haven't heard of the Church of Satan, you must have spent the last thirty years in a coma or in a monastery. If that is the case, I suggest that you skip this review altogether; in fact, what the fuck are you doing reading this mag in the first place! Adam Parfrey in his introduction informs us: "Although his books have sold over a million copies, the publishing industry has chosen to ignore Anton LaVey. The book trade publication, Publisher's Weekly, has never reviewed a publication by or Anton LaVey. Aside from the attempt to 'expose' or 'debunk' the founder of the Church of Satan, the print and electronic media have chosen a blackout on the true nature of his writings. Most of the so-called 'alternative' press has taken the lead of the mainstream press not to confront the work or life of Anton LaVey, to wish him into non-existence. Why? In a word, fear." Quite right. Over the last thirty years since the formation of the Church of Satan, Anton LaVey has been a thorn in the side of those who would control and manipulate the minds of the masses. A true free-thinker, and one who is not afraid to tell it how it is, and who can do so articulately and with great power, is a man to be feared indeed. And this is just what Mr. LaVey has done. This little book is a collection of Doktor LaVey's essays, rants, and various other writings that he has penned over the last couple of decades. Written by one of the few truly original thinkers over the last half century, what LaVey has to say is not always nice and never politically correct, but always something that needs to be articulated. For some reason, when I read the writings of this man, I find myself agreeing with almost all of what he has to say. He seems to have the ability to articulate in precise language what I have already felt but have never been able to articulate myself. And for this alone, I greatly enjoy reading Doktor LaVey's work. Always illuminating and always powerful. Far too much is contained in this book to go into the various essays. Suffice to say, if you wanna find out what real Satanism is all about, this book (as well Anton LaVey's other writings, The Satanic Bible, The Satanic Rituals and The Complete Witch) are well worth buying. Ave Satanas!
Crown Of Thorns 3 Just when you thought it was safe to venture into your pseudo-alternative-trendoid little shoppe along comes another Goth Music mag. Yep, as if we didn't have enough of the fuckers already. This one hails from the ever-so-goth Brisbane. Didn't know this breed of human could prosper in such a warm and sunny environment. Crown of Thorns, as far as this type of magazine goes, is pretty standard. Let's see, there's the band interviews, more band interviews, and ooh yeah, did I mention the band interviews. What I wanna know is why are all these fucking bands that are interviewed in these zines so fucking boring? Well, just to give yerz all an inkling of what to expect if you go out and buy this fucker, there's interviews with Pop Will Eat Itself (yawn), Jesus Mary Chain, Ostia, and a whole lot more. Oh, and did I mention there's also a bunch of music reviews? I think you get the idea. If yer into all this stuff, you'll most likely enjoy this mag. Not quite in the same class as Dark Angel or Ex Cathedra, but worth a look … just.
Loser Friendly 2 Now what's this mag all about I hear yerz asking? Well, yer probably don't really give a shit, which is why I'm gonna tell ya anyway. Let's see, we've got more band interviews, this time of the garage-pseudo-alternative variety (Phlegm, Cosmic Psychos, Incursion), plus an interview with Lester Bangs, which actually was interesting. Then there's all those pages and pages of music reviews. As the Kadavar has said previously, I can never understand why these mags bother with music reviews, since music is so subjective, and the only way one can determine if one likes a particular song or CD is to listen to it. All the reviews in the world won't tell me if I'm going to like the music. Only way is to listen to the fucker. The best part in this whole excuse for a mag was the editor's rant on the state of Pay TV in Australia. This alone was worth the price of the magazine. Not much else to say about this mag really, except that the production was pretty shoddy. Yeah, I know, not all of us have access to, or can afford, a laser printer and a decent computer with DTP software, but there are a number of things that can be done if yer catch my drift. This just looks amateurish.
Betty Paginated I'd heard lots of good things about this mag and from people whose opinions I respect, so when I saw a copy of this fucker sitting on the shelf at Polyester Books, I grabbed it. First thing I noticed when flipping through this mag on the tram home was all those pix of nekkid bitches placed throughout its pages -- had me old mate, Heironymous Erectus, who had come along for the ride, drooling over my shoulder. Let me tell yerz, this did not make a pretty picture for all those Pink Droid Humanoidic No-Entities as they travelled home from their work/enslavement camps. Great layouts. Good well-written articules [sic], rants, reviews, wrestling, and heaps of interesting things to look at, mainly of the nekkid woman variety. I mean, fuck, shit, get a blow-job from a hippopotamus with herpes and two teeth missing, this mag is bulldada supremo. Aaarrrggghhh!!! Nuff said. I give up. I'm gonna subscribe!
Feedback Another crappy cover containing some badly drawn depiction of this New-Age-looking bimbette. On page 2 (I can count that far.), editor Milly writes: "this zine is dedicated to the quintessential modern girl" -- in other words, bimbo -- "… and good luck to all zine editors who like myself, fear and loathe computers." And does it show! Fucking A it does. Okay, so this zine is all put together by hand, no computers involved in the production. The end result is more crappy layouts with no regard as to aesthetics, continuity, etc. Even worse artwork. The person putting this together obviously has no idea about editing or how to put a magazine together. Sheet! I've seen better put-together efforts by primary school students. But hey, she's a "quintessential modern girl", right? What a fucking joke. Nevertheless, despite the appearance of this mag, I decided to read it anyway. After a couple of pages of dribble, I'm inflicted with something called "Mod Prose", then more fucking band interviews! And of the geeky would-be types who haven't bothered to notice that the 60s finished almost a quarter of a century ago! I've had enough. I wouldn't even wipe my butt with this rubbish.
The Cherobic (r)Evolution Another mag from the U.S. of A. and another crappy-looking cover. Open to the first page and the editor lets us all know that "The Cherobic (r)Evolution is a zine about 'the edge' for and by people on the edge." Yeah, right, cheesehead. Edge of what? By the look of yer fucking zine, the edge of mediocrity. Let's see, there's a rant defending the right to produce bad art (must be trying to justify the existence of his rag). Heaps of bad poetry. A few readers' letters including one from some pseudo-literary twerp named robert w. howington [sic], who tells us about his divorce, thanks the ed. for publishing his poetry in the last issue, and is so literary he doesn't have to use capital letters … oh, he's so clever!!! Aarrgghh!! Fuck! More fucking band interviews!! This time some has been from Jefferson Airplane. And I thought their music was boring. Now I know why. More bad poetry. Yeowh! Muthafukaz! Stomp on a baby pigmy's head wearing high heels! Just when I was about to throw this mag in the air and run away screaming, I turn the page and there's a pic of Annie Sprinkle's open twat staring at me! Fuck, Heironymous who was still looking over my shoulder nearly creamed in his pants. Too bad about the article that accompanied said twat shot was so full of crap, contained some New Age twaddle about goddess principles or some such bull. Next up was an article on Nudism … and no fucking pictures! Sheet, whatsamatta with these people to pass up such an opportunity to show some flesh. Then the editor, Frank Moore, gives us some more New Age twaddle about masks and magic. And if that didn't take the cake, next up I'm inflicted with some hairy-armpitted dyke ranting on about the mystery of the female goddess or some such bullshit. Interesting in a few places, but overall not worth bothering with.
Tadpole 3 Every now and then, about every couple of months or so, the Kadavar goes through a phase where I go out and buy $50 worth of fanzines. I'll grab the ol' cape, take a big stick to beat away any stray dogs or children, get on a tram and hike it across town to Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, to Polyester Books. Once there, I'll look through their wares -- always heaps of cool books and mags, plus some not so cool ones. I'll select a pile of mags, usually whatever catches my eye at the time, without worrying too much about content and just buy the fuckers. I like taking a chance every now and then. Well, sometimes yer get lucky and sometimes yer don't. This time I didn't. This excuse for a magazine has probably the worst layout I've ever seen, and that's saying something. Sheet, this is even worse put together than Prohibited Matter! Let's see, half of its contents are hand-written (and bad handwriting at that), and the rest is poor dot matrix, and photocopied so much, that at times it is totally unreadable. Things are placed haphazard all over the page with no regard as to flow, continuity or aesthetics. The artwork is abysmal. The writing is just terrible … I mean these fuckers just have nothing to say. I just can't figure out why these morons even bothered! Some people just shouldn't be producing fanzines. I just can't figure out what possesses some of these mediocretinns to publish something like this. I mean these are people with absolutely nothing to say and nothing to offer, except of course their mediocrity. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid. This is total crap.
Brutarian 16 This one is about the fourth issue of Brutarian that I've come across. I spotted it sitting there amongst a pile of lesser mags so I bought it. Yeah, I'm biased here as I really like this mag, but hey, it's a mag worth the attention. In case you haven't heard of Brutarian, it is published in the USA and comes equipped with helluva muthafuckin' attitude. Sheet, any mag that gets the likes of Sepultura and Brujeria putting in adverts for their CDs has my support. The cover illo on this one features a deformed brat in womb with pig's snout. My hatred for the little brats being well documented, I took a natural shine straight away. Layout is straight-forward and easy to follow. Article on band I'd never heard of, but written with this in-yer-face attitude that endeared me to the fucker anyway. Some commix. Fiction by Philip Nutman titled "Showdown at the Hong Kong Bar-B-Q and Grill" and a pretty good story too -- heaps of punch, and yeah, more attitude. Jonathan Valania from band Psychlone Rangers gives us a rundown on a recent tour they did: Valania writes well and this sort of article makes a welcome change from the boring band interview. Column by porn-writer Ariel Hart telling us why she writes porn … some interesting insights here too. More great articles and heaps of well-written reviews. Buy. Buy. Buy!
Sex Murder Art:
The Films of Jorg Buttgereit If you haven't seen any of Jorg Buttgereit's films -- Nekromantik, Nekromantik 2, Der Todesking, Schramm -- it's not too surprising, since the fuckwits that be at the Film Censorshit Board have decided that these films are far too nasty to be seen in Australia. I mean, shiiittt, I've personally known people who have actually been raided by the Gestapo (err, Customs) and have had copies of said films confiscated: that's right, you can have storm troopers in your very own home just for possessing video copies of Buttgereit's films. Having been fortunate to have seen both Nekromantik films, I can attest that this guy is one sick film-maker. His work is taboo-breaking, uncompromising, and exciting to watch. Also heaps of corpse-fucking! Seems that Buttgereit's films are just too much for mainstream audiences. His work has gained him a lot of controversy, with his films banned in many parts of the world. Buttgereit is a unique talent, whose work will survive many years after those wankers who would like to censor him are dead. History will be the judge. This book covers the work of Buttgereit. Included within its pages are heaps of stills from said films, heaps of background info on their making, as well as assorted interviews with Buttgereit and his cast and crew. Although somewhat expensive, I still recommend this book to those interested in the subject matter. Nuff said.
Total Abuse This book comprises of the collected writings (1984-1995) of controversial American writer, Peter Sotos, and also includes a fascinating interview with Sotos conducted by ANSWER Me! editor, Jim Goad. In case yer don't know, Peter Sotos made national news in the USA when he was arrested on obscenity charges in the mid-80s. That is, arrested for writing and publishing two issues of his murder/sex fanzine PURE. All four issues of PURE are included in this book, as well as Sotos' other publishing/writing ventures TOOL and PARASITE. (It was Sotos' story, taken from an issue of TOOL, that was mainly the culprit in making up the OFLC's minds when they decided to ban ANSWER Me! #4 last year.) Seems that Sotos' writings really get up the nose of the wankers that decide what's right and what's wrong for we mere citizens to read -- not to mention US Customs, and the US Police Force. Jim Goad opens his introduction to Total Abuse by stating that, "Peter Sotos is the greatest writer alive." I wouldn't quite go that far, but Sotos' writing is pretty high up there. Sotos' writing is brutal, uncompromising, violent, sadistic … sheeet!! I'm getting adjectivitis. Sotos' subject matter revolves around death, perversion, sexual abuse, and the many brutal ways that people inflict these upon each other. His portrayals are often from the POV of the victim. He doesn't embellish his writing with moralistic bullshit. None of this "it all has to have a reason" crap. Above all, Sotos is always brutally honest: he knows that violence can be attractive for its own sake, and he has no qualms about portraying it in this way as he dramatizes the dirty deeds of murderers/serial killers, rapists, child molesters, etc. And this is just what gets up a lot of people's noses, that is people who may also be attracted to the lure of violence, but who have to moralise, they have to look down upon it all from some moral standpoint, they think they're above it. Sotos knows that violence is within us all, and maybe this is just what really scares us too. Fuck! I'm beginning to sound like a bloody egghead!! What appeals to me about Sotos' writing is the in-yer-face way he portrays everything. He's nasty, and that's just how I like it. He portrays the various perversions of violence and sex in the most depraved and brutal way imaginable. Many times I had to stop reading, mouth agape, in awe at the level of brutality. Fuck yeah! Some of his descriptions really had the ol' Kadavar going. In the end all I can say is, right on Mr. Sotos! That this book hasn't been banned yet in Australia is obviously an oversight by the OFLC, or more likely, it hasn't come to their attention. I say grab yer copy now, before it's too late.
A.K.A. Joe D'Amato: The Man and His Movies Aristide Massaccessi, better known to schlock film buffs as Joe D'Amato, is a schlockmeister par excellence. With dozens of films bearing one of his many monikers, either as Producer, Director, Writer, etc., or all, or a combination of these, D'Amato has aptly been referred to as Italy's Roger Corman. Some of the films he has been involved in include: Anthropophagous, Absurd, the Ator series, the Emmanuelle series, Sex Penitentiary, Paranoia, Demecia, Porno Holocaust, Night of the Zombies, 2020 Texas Gladiators, Regenerator, Troll 2, sheet!!! I could go on for ever. Whether it's sleazy women-in-prison flicks, porn, gladiators, splatter, action/violence … put it this way, if it involves exploitation, Joe's our man. Yeah, most of D'Amato's films were made on little budget, with actors who haven't been within 100 miles of any acting school, but hey, stretch yer arm above yer head and jump up and down so yer can fistfuck a giraffe!!! we're talking Class A bulldada here … and at least all the women are well shaped and always show some skin … even if they can't act. This little booklet contains heaps of pics, an interview with the man himself, plus a complete listing of his filmic escapades. Yeah!!
Fatal Visions 20 Yeeoww! Freaker City!! 40 pages of pure bulldada!! If anyone in Australia reading this hasn't sampled at least one copy of Fatal Visions, then WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN THE LAST FEW YEARS!!! FV can be best described as a cleaning house for assorted filmic bulldada: that's freakin' schlock Pink Boy! Here we have reviews -- all informative and written by people who really know their shit -- covering those types of films that fuckwits like Leonard Maltin (sounds like a fucking milkshake!) and that nerd Groucho-look-alike that appears on the Bryant Mumble Show, and of course those twits on the SBS Movie Show, and their contemporaries generally sneer at and look down upon: specifically we're talking Action, Japanimation, Martial Arts, Splatter, Sci-Fi, Sleaze … yer get the drift. … Also covers what's happening on the exploitation scene. In this issue there's a fascinating interview/article on Canberra film-maker Damian Hefferman who's putting together an ultra-low budget nasty called Cthulhu, and all on his own, without any assistance from the Australian Film Commission. Also extensive film and video review columns, plus other assorted columns for film and TV connoisewers [sic]. FV may be only 40 pages in length, but the writing is real small and Michael Helms really manages to cram a lot into this mag. This is one well put together magazine: always interesting-looking, easy to follow, and with well thought-out layouts. Hey, whatta yerz waiting for? |
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All material on this site is Copyright 2007 to Chris A. Masters
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